An ultimately encouraging exploration that aims to show men how to throw off societal expectations.
A thorough study of what it means to be a man in modern society.
Erikson’s nonfiction debut, aimed at both male and female readers, opens with what he considers to be fundamental questions of masculinity: “Am I a man?” “When will I be a man?” and “What do I have to do to become a man?” Backing and informing such questions is a concept that Erikson refers to as “Required Masculinity,” a series of expectations that he says society imposes on men, chiefly characterized by “dominance, power, control, wealth, and high sexuality.” In the author’s analysis, masculinity comprises three related, intersecting elements: a man’s “Tools,” the actual methods he has with which to express himself; a man’s “Intention,” the guiding ethos by which he uses those tools; and the level of “Acceptance” that a man is granted by society at large by expressing himself. Erikson points out that the daily existence of most men, especially young men, is a constant negotiation between “Required Masculinity” and their own personal inclinations and preferences. Men confront society’s gender stereotypes, the author says, which include that men should only care about money and power, or that men shouldn’t have close friendships with other men, because all other men are supposedly potential enemies. This thoughtful book effectively traces these and other stereotypes through the contemporary world of TV, movies, and advertising, and also through quick glimpses of how various forces throughout history have shaped the male ideal. He notes that, in the various men’s groups he’s joined or led, men have complained about the stress of competing for this essentially unreachable ideal. By clearly laying out and examining the various forces working on contemporary men, Erikson’s book methodically constructs ways for male readers to escape from the trap of “Required Masculinity,” and work instead toward “Personal Masculinity,” a more honest, sustainable expression of the self. The book’s bracing second half is a step-by-step workshop for how to do this, and many readers will find it very helpful and clarifying.
An ultimately encouraging exploration that aims to show men how to throw off societal expectations.Pub Date: Oct. 6, 2016
ISBN: 978-1-5246-3999-0
Page Count: 188
Publisher: AuthorHouse
Review Posted Online: Jan. 8, 2017
Review Program: Kirkus Indie
Doyle offers another lucid, inspiring chronicle of female empowerment and the rewards of self-awareness and renewal.
More life reflections from the bestselling author on themes of societal captivity and the catharsis of personal freedom.
In her third book, Doyle (Love Warrior, 2016, etc.) begins with a life-changing event. “Four years ago,” she writes, “married to the father of my three children, I fell in love with a woman.” That woman, Abby Wambach, would become her wife. Emblematically arranged into three sections—“Caged,” “Keys,” “Freedom”—the narrative offers, among other elements, vignettes about the soulful author’s girlhood, when she was bulimic and felt like a zoo animal, a “caged girl made for wide-open skies.” She followed the path that seemed right and appropriate based on her Catholic upbringing and adolescent conditioning. After a downward spiral into “drinking, drugging, and purging,” Doyle found sobriety and the authentic self she’d been suppressing. Still, there was trouble: Straining an already troubled marriage was her husband’s infidelity, which eventually led to life-altering choices and the discovery of a love she’d never experienced before. Throughout the book, Doyle remains open and candid, whether she’s admitting to rigging a high school homecoming court election or denouncing the doting perfectionism of “cream cheese parenting,” which is about “giving your children the best of everything.” The author’s fears and concerns are often mirrored by real-world issues: gender roles and bias, white privilege, racism, and religion-fueled homophobia and hypocrisy. Some stories merely skim the surface of larger issues, but Doyle revisits them in later sections and digs deeper, using friends and familial references to personify their impact on her life, both past and present. Shorter pieces, some only a page in length, manage to effectively translate an emotional gut punch, as when Doyle’s therapist called her blooming extramarital lesbian love a “dangerous distraction.” Ultimately, the narrative is an in-depth look at a courageous woman eager to share the wealth of her experiences by embracing vulnerability and reclaiming her inner strength and resiliency.
Doyle offers another lucid, inspiring chronicle of female empowerment and the rewards of self-awareness and renewal.Pub Date: March 10, 2020
ISBN: 978-1-9848-0125-8
Page Count: 352
Publisher: Dial Books
Review Posted Online: Dec. 21, 2019
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Jan. 15, 2020
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SEEN & HEARD
SEEN & HEARD
A vibrant, encouraging depiction of a sinister disorder.
A British novelist turns to autobiography to report the manifold symptoms and management of his debilitating disease, depression.
Clever author Haig (The Humans, 2013, etc.) writes brief, episodic vignettes, not of a tranquil life but of an existence of unbearable, unsustainable melancholy. Throughout his story, presented in bits frequently less than a page long (e.g., “Things you think during your 1,000th panic attack”), the author considers phases he describes in turn as Falling, Landing, Rising, Living, and, finally, simply Being with spells of depression. Haig lists markers of his unseen disease, including adolescent angst, pain, continual dread, inability to speak, hypochondria, and insomnia. He describes his frequent panic attacks and near-constant anhedonia, the inability to experience pleasure. Haig also assesses the efficacy of neuroscience, yoga, St. John’s wort, exercise, pharmaceuticals, silence, talking, walking, running, staying put, and working up the courage to do even the most seemingly mundane of tasks, like visiting the village store. Best for the author were reading, writing, and the frequent dispensing of kindnesses and love. He acknowledges particularly his debt to his then-girlfriend, now-wife. After nearly 15 years, Haig is doing better. He appreciates being alive and savors the miracle of existence. His writing is infectious though sometimes facile—and grammarians may be upset with the writer’s occasional confusion of the nominative and objective cases of personal pronouns. Less tidy and more eclectic than William Styron’s equally brief, iconic Darkness Visible, Haig’s book provides unobjectionable advice that will offer some help and succor to those who experience depression and other related illnesses. For families and friends of the afflicted, Haig’s book, like Styron’s, will provide understanding and support.
A vibrant, encouraging depiction of a sinister disorder.Pub Date: Feb. 23, 2016
ISBN: 978-0-14-312872-4
Page Count: 272
Publisher: Penguin
Review Posted Online: Nov. 3, 2015
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Nov. 15, 2015
SEEN & HEARD
Readers Donate Depression Book After Star Suicide
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