Neither stuffily conventional nor stridently feminist, this helpful modus operandi for divorced mothers is based on the author's experience (seven years divorced, two teenagers) and her work in Nexus, an organization for separated, divorced, or widowed women she started as therapy for loneliness. She notes eight stages of post-divorce growth: Active Bleeding, Euphoria, Running, All Work No Play, Post-Love Blues, Yahoo, Post-Yahoo Blues, and finally, The Search for the Real Me--""a quiet time, lacking the quality of desperation of the others,"" which comes, she says, four to seven years after breakup. To cope with the Pilgrim's Progress preceding this comparative nirvana, different levels of friendship are suggested. The 10 percent, 30 percent, 50 percent friendships are as valuable as the rare 100 percent. Napolitane offers no glib recipe for finding another husband, but numerous imaginative tips of how to start a conversation with a stranger, where to locate male companions, and how to handle lovers (""two compliments per date"") make sense for eager singles searching the pages of Cosmopolitan magazine. Emphasis is on personal integrity, independence, self-esteem, and self-improvement--""No one needs to be coupled up in order to feel fulfilled."" Comforting, level-headed, spirited advice altogether.