YOU WITH THE SAD EYES

Actress Applegate doesn’t hold back in her description of a less-than-joyful life.

Applegate, who starred in Married…With Children and Dead to Me, among other television shows and movies, is now in her 50s and largely confined to her bed by multiple sclerosis. Applegate grew up, she says, in a Laurel Canyon home, in Los Angeles, that was “abusive and scary and awful.” Her father left the family when she was young, her mother became addicted to heroin and involved with men who were abusive to both her and her daughter, and Applegate became the family’s main breadwinner, working on radio commercials and television shows from the time she was 5. Acting, she says, saved her, providing structure for a life that could easily have gone thoroughly off the rails and left her “dead for sure.” But readers looking for anecdotes and insights into the projects the actress worked on won’t find them here. She regards the actors with whom she shared years of work, especially those from Married…With Children, with respect and gratitude, yet she doesn’t reveal much about them, instead concentrating on the details of a long series of excruciatingly bad romantic relationships with controlling men. Much of the memoir is backed up by long, emotionally raw passages from the diaries that Applegate kept for decades, where in her adolescence she castigates herself for being “a fat blob.” Later on, she tries to convince herself that whatever man she is with at a given time is the right one for her: “The jealousy. The rage. It all stems from love, passion, fear I suppose.” This is an admirably cathartic project, with a few tiny glimmers of hope, if not one that the casual reader is likely to pick up for fun.

A fierce account of pain and survival.