A compact guide for women seeking to improve their skills at oral sex.
In her nonfiction debut, self-styled “sexpert” Ryder draws on many years of experience to offer female readers the ultimate guide to the oral pleasuring of men. It’s a skill that she characterizes at the outset of this book as 85 percent mental and 15 percent physical: “If you want to give him the best orgasms, you must learn to influence his moods and feelings,” she says. For Ryder, the key to success in this arena is mostly a matter of changing one’s attitude about the task at hand. It mustn’t ever be seen as a chore, Ryder insists, but as a passion—in fact, the greatest passion, Ryder says, because the potential benefits to “your relationship, marriage and life in general” are enormous. Although this brief book includes requisite anatomical information about the male sex organ and several practical tips, the main focus throughout is on the reader’s mindset: “The better we are at a thing the more we enjoy doing it…the more we enjoy doing it, the better we become at it.” It’s difficult to argue with such sentiments, and many of the book’s techniques and pieces of advice are similarly useful, if familiar. What sets Ryder’s book apart is not only its emphasis on inner transformation, unfortunately, but also its explicitly sexist notions, as when Ryder writes, “In healthy heterosexual relationships, men are dominant, women are submissive. Being on your knees in front of your man is the ultimate way to show your submissiveness.” Women and men with different opinions on the subject may still find Ryder’s practical advice worthwhile, but they’ll balk at its underlying philosophy.
A sometimes-useful but regressive approach to improving one’s oral-pleasure game.