JUNK DRAWER

Debut author Haley offers amusing observations about life in the 21st century in this nonfiction book.

“Will this book change your life?...Will it help you find solutions to the problems that plague you?” asks the author in the opening lines of this book. The answer, per Haley’s characteristically charming, self-deprecating humor, is a resounding, “No.” It will, however, evoke frequent laughter over the course of nearly 40 eclectic short chapters, united only by their genre-defying randomness. One chapter focuses on modern food; the author notes that, while the diet of health-conscious eaters “consists mainly of food yanked from trees and chicken,” those with less discerning palates now have access to abominations like “hot dogs with cheese in the middle” and other concoctions formulated by society’s best “food engineers.” Other chapters offer Covid-19-era exercise tips for the next pandemic (which include “getting the mail”); explain how to “Explode Your Retirement Savings by Maybe Winning Big in Las Vegas”; and outline how to become a “Real Stand-Up Employee” by purchasing a standing desk. One particularly hilarious chapter looks at the official adoption of “golf ball-sized hailstone” as an official unit of measurement used by meteorologists; Haley reports that NASA has followed suit, declaring “yay high” as its new official measurement of distance. With only a handful of exceptions, the book generally avoids scatological or partisan political humor, offering instead a gut-busting collection of family-friendly, non-offensive comedy. Its chapters are supplemented by an ample assortment of photographs with amusing captions and an appendix with instructions for nonplussed readers on how to turn the book’s pages into paper airplanes. Rarely meanspirited, Haley saves his most piercing barbs for himself, noting, for instance, that he “knew he wanted to be a writer the moment he put on his first cardigan sweater about one year ago.” At just over 100 pages, this is an easy read that is best consumed a chapter or two at a time.

A delightfully haphazard anthology of humorous looks at food, work, and life in modern America.