THE SOULMATE STRATEGY

Seemiller’s memoir charts her search for healing following the end of a romantic relationship.

In this work, the author explores themes of self-discovery and emotional resilience, using her own heartbreak as a focal point. Structured in four parts (“Getting Up,” “Getting Out,” “Getting Through,” and “Getting On”), the book covers a year in Seemiller’s life. Beginning with the first days after a breakup, the narrative takes readers through the author’s changing reactions, from pain and raw emotion to much more reflective understandings of love, attachment, and, self-worth. The book’s introduction, “Naked and Afraid,” finds Seemiller at a chaotic pool party: “Maybe spending the Fourth of July at a lesbian pool party I found online wasn’t the best idea,” she writes. From there, the author continues along the recovery path. Readers are taken on an emotional and humorous ride as Seemiller examines her fear of failure and her drive to find meaning beyond romantic validation. The author’s reflections are not limited to her romantic life—topics such as her parents’ troubled marriage and her experiences as a single mother allow her to address generational and psychological patterns that shaped her and others close to her. By the time Seemiller reaches the final section, readers will notice a transformation: Instead of looking for a new soulmate, Seemiller has learned to become emotionally whole on her own. The author’s voice—articulate yet unpretentious, self-aware but not self-pitying (and sometimes laugh-out-loud funny)—elevates this book above the typical memoir. Seemiller at times writes with the insight of a psychologist, and at others with the warmth of a friend; readers who have found themselves lost in the aftermath of a lost love will find themselves in her story (the author has a knack for making even ultra-personal confessions entirely relatable). Ultimately, Seemiller delivers a compelling account of grief and growth, demonstrating that even the most painful endings can lead to profound self-discovery and, perhaps, a new kind of love.

A frank and compelling memoir full of emotional wisdom.