THE WAY LOVE GOES

A queer rapper and her equally successful wife dispense their secrets to achieving love and happiness.

Female rap artist Da Brat and her wife, Harris-Dupart, aka “DaRealBBJudy,” a multimillionaire beauty entrepreneur, dispense wisdom about relationship navigation and life in general in this dual-authored advice-memoir hybrid. The couple met after the rapper began doing promotional videos for Harris-Dupart’s hair-product company, then fell in love, and were married in Georgia in 2022. While they admit their mutual attraction was an “organic experience,” it was the learning process after the honeymoon phase that created the foundation for their lasting relationship. For two strong-willed, outspoken, high-profile Black women, there were roadblocks and challenges they didn’t foresee, and the authors don’t mince words as they escort readers through their shared lives and how their shared “golden rules” developed as guideposts. For Da Brat, who grew up in a religious household, her queer feelings unmoored her sturdy lifestyle and changed the ways she looked at love and attraction. Once the couple decided to announce their relationship in public, both were free to focus on each other and to work toward making their bond stronger, despite public scrutiny. The book stresses the importance of establishing boundaries, responsibility, accountability, faith, honesty and communication, which, they admit, was initially difficult as both women had different styles of personal expression (and text response times). Da Brat admits that while sexual chemistry is important, “it isn’t everything,” and definitely not the only engine that runs a partnership. Filled with takeaways and wise, self-reflective pearls, the book succeeds in allowing both women to be frank and transparent in sharing their perspective on how the relationship emerged, grew, and continues to evolve, including the birth of a son in 2023. Despite how clichéd these pages of motivational, uplifting, timeworn, and, at times, cautionary aphorisms and platitudes might read to some, it’s advice that continues to be imperative to the success of the authors’ relationship with each other. Sensitive readers be warned: This is a rapper’s book, and the expletives fly as freely as the advice.

An impressive and reflective treat for diehard fans of Da Brat and Judy.