WHAT TO DO WHEN HE WON'T CHANGE by Dan Kiley
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WHAT TO DO WHEN HE WON'T CHANGE

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KIRKUS REVIEW

Most women are probably prepared to say that if his current state drives them crazy, and he still won't change, then they're better off without him. But for those who just can't call it quits, ""Dr. Dan"" is back with a guide for women ready to shoulder total responsibility for relationships. Kiley (The Peter Pan Syndrome, The Wendy Dilemma, etc.) seems to start out right: ""You deserve a man who can demonstrate his love by his behavior."" And he seems clear that ""it never has and it never will"" work to make someone else change. Why, then, this book? Because, Kiley adds, ""You can play your cards in the most rational, well-planned way you can and hope that your man will choose to change."" In fact, to split hairs, ""You stimulate change but are not the cause of it."" How is all this done? With Dr. Dan's help, one first becomes an ""internal woman"" (i.e., having an internal locus of control), and then takes responsibility for being a man's teacher. Says Kiley, ""Today's man needs a woman's help. . . to teach him how to be a sensitive human being in a highly interpersonal world."" Part I here instructs on preparation for teaching; in Part II, a woman confronts a man lovingly, and teaches him. (It might be easier if Kiley produced a guide for men on being more sensitive, and left the middleman--or woman--out of it.) There is a short chapter on what to do if even all this doesn't work (""Surviving the End of Love""). For Kiley fans, then, and for women who just can't say goodbye.

Pub Date: Sept. 21st, 1987
Publisher: Putnam