A matter-of-fact, almost old-fashioned parenting guide, which casts children as ""gentle warriors,"" spells out Ambushes common to different ages, and admonishes parents to take charge and Keep It Simple. An Illinois Department of Corrections psychologist, Kiley introduces ""Protective Parenting"" as a way of directing deviant energies into mature social skills, transforming impulses for disrespect, disruption, and detachment into the three R's: respect, responsibility, and reciprocity. Less reliant on language as behavior-shaper than the Ginott/ Gordon coterie, more astute than the oversimplifying behaviorists, he describes a broad range of standard family situations, indicating reactions which can minimize the sources of contention or escalate into grand hostilities. His understanding of increasingly sophisticated ploys is sound, his willingness to reward compliance proportioned, and his advice usually reasonable. But many readers will find a few of the punishments unduly harsh or inappropriate--21 hours of housecleaning with a toothbrush for a 16-year-old's overnight disappearance--while others may challenge unexamined preferences (the Pill for teenaged girls) or find some suggestions (resisting gang overtures) inadequate.