STFU

A recovering talkaholic urges us to stop talking constantly and learn to appreciate reticence.

“We live in a world that doesn’t just encourage overtalking but practically demands it, where success is measured by how much attention we attract,” writes tech journalist Lyons, who notes that these circumstances are turning all interactions into pointless shouting matches and creating an epidemic of anxiety and depression. The author admits that, for many years, he was one of the main offenders, prone to “going off the rails, monologuing like Hamlet on crystal meth.” After damaging his personal and professional lives, he realized that his chattering had become an addiction, and he set out to change. He tells his own story as well as looking at the bigger picture, drawing on the expertise of therapists and offering a series of self-assessment tests and exercises. He devotes several chapters to social media, which he sees as one of the primary causes of the problem. Think before you tweet or post, he suggests. Does the world really want your opinion on everything? Do you really need to argue with strangers who disagree with you? Intense use of social media underlies the sociopolitical polarization that is gripping the U.S., notes the author, so turn it off or turn it down. At the very least, disconnect your phone from social media platforms. Do some meditation or take a walk in a forest to recapture the beauty of silence. In conversations, be willing to accept pauses for reflection, avoid interrupting others, and listen more than you speak. A less noisy life is not easy to achieve, Lyons advises, but improvements can be made with small, gradual steps. Think of it as a workout for your mind. Take it easy, let yourself relax, and, most of all, STFU.

In an era when shouting is the norm, this is a sage guide to a quieter, more considered, and more enjoyable life.