LOVE ILLUMINATED

A lively, anecdotal examination of the mystifying and treacherous landscape of dating and love.

New York Times “Modern Love” columnist Jones states that he doesn't consider himself an expert in the dating and marriage game, and the book will disappoint those seeking definitive advice for dating, finding true love or making relationships work. Instead, the author breaks down the wisdom he has garnered from reviewing and editing 50,000 (and counting) readers' love stories and laments. Although he offers no hard and fast rules or absolutes, Jones makes several observations about the state of modern romantic relationships and what he sees as permanent changes to the dating landscape, filed under irreverent chapter subheadings like "Destiny: So What's Wrong With You?" and "Trust: Avoid Everybody." The author demonstrates how the metrics of one particular dating website focused his attention on several appropriate candidates, but not with his wife, to whom he has been married for more than 10 years. He explains this is due to the fact that when users intensify their focus—as online dating sites encourage their members to do—they tend to lose their peripheral vision, which involves serendipity, the possibility of compromise and, if you believe in it, destiny. Another enlightening section reveals how modern social mores and technology have created new ways of connecting without genuine communication—e.g., booty-texting and hooking up; emailing, e-chatting, blogging, Tweeting and Skyping. Jones pointedly labels this new frontier of the search for love the "Soul Mate In A Box.” The author does not provide reassurance to the baffled, frustrated and lovelorn; he notes that "the case with almost anyone who's feeling unwanted and hopeless is they simply haven't met the right person.” Unfortunately, “some people never do."

Amusing and heartening.