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EVERYONE YOU HATE IS GOING TO DIE by Daniel Sloss

EVERYONE YOU HATE IS GOING TO DIE

And Other Comforting Thoughts on Family, Friends, Sex, Love, and More Things That Ruin Your Life

by Daniel Sloss

Pub Date: Oct. 12th, 2021
ISBN: 978-0-525-65814-6
Publisher: Knopf

A book version of the Scottish comedian’s routine.

Recycling his material into book form, Sloss creates an awkward mix of virulent complaints and predictable relationship advice. The author boasts that his show Jigsaw, in which he made the unremarkable case that it's better to be alone than in a bad relationship, “broke up 95,000 couples, resulted in 250 engagements being canceled and more than 200 divorces.” Throughout, Sloss employs profanity with a liberal hand, “not as much as I originally wanted—there's editors for you—but still enough to hurt your delicate American sensibilities.” In one particularly venomous chapter, the author unleashes a tirade directed at his ex-girlfriend, who “is going to read this and feel so, so bad about herself” and who he hopes “dies in a car crash. As long as no innocent civilians are killed, I don’t think I’d bat an eye.” His ability to dispense relationship advice—e.g., “Have as much sex as you can while you're young, because it’s the only time you’re allowed to suck at it”; “You owe nothing to anyone other than yourself”—is predicated on his seemingly unironic belief that “I'm twenty-nine years old. I think I know what I'm talking about.” Less shocking than sophomoric, the book is likely to grate on the nerves of those who don't identify as “Lads, Lads, Lads.” The author’s attempts to shoehorn more serious emotional material into the narrative—as when he describes his love for a sister who suffered from cerebral palsy and died when she was 6 and he was 8—feel misplaced. In the final chapter, Sloss writes about the satisfying relationship he has with his girlfriend of three years, but he includes an objectively appalling list of ways in which he's mistreated her. Readers may wonder whom he’s trying to impress with his naughty ways.

Comedy for fans of Tucker Max and early Howard Stern.