THIS MARRIAGE?

A memoir reflects on a marriage that teetered on the brink and the spiritual response that saved it.

Dave and Lizzy Canales met in college, and after building a “deep, significant friendship,” they fell in love and married. Dave’s career as a football coach met with considerable success with Lizzy’s staunch encouragement—he ascended to a position with the Seattle Seahawks. But a distance opened up between them nonetheless—despite Dave’s professional accomplishments, they remained mired in financial struggles, and Lizzy felt a “secret resentment” that she was somehow being left behind. She finally pointed out to him the failings of their marriage in the bluntest terms: “I mean, I think we love each other. I think we have fun together. I think we do day-to-day life together…well. But do I think we are living the marriage God intended for us? Not really.” To make matters worse, Dave was living a “secret life” marked by serial infidelity, his shame anesthetized by excessive drinking. He finally came clean and confessed to his transgressions, a frightening experience that aroused in both of them a mixture of shame and relief. The authors take turns chronicling their story, deftly creating a vivid picture of a marriage that started with such promise and then quietly deteriorated. Full transparency saved their ailing relationship along with a recommitment that included marriage counseling and a spiritual realignment. The authors combine their remembrance with some useful counsel for other couples, especially regarding the courage to face the unknown that readers can find in God: “God is right here, asking you to take His hand and step out into the darkness—somewhere you have never been before.” The recollection is as sober as it is unflinchingly candid—readers will be impressed by the authors’ emotional forthrightness. Nonetheless, this is a very personal memoir—and a brief one, too, at under 100 pages—and is unlikely to powerfully resonate with a readership that stretches beyond those who know the authors.

A bracingly honest but idiosyncratic account of a marriage.