IF GOD WANTED US TO TRAVEL. . .

A generally very funny sendup of travel guides, packed with an astonishing assortment of the kind of zingy one-liners and brief anecdotes that Brenner (Nobody Ever Sees You Eat Tuna Fish, 1986) employs in his TV and nightclub routines. ""I love travel,"" the peripatetic comic begins, and proves it with a deluge of advice ranging from explanations of ""travel babble"" (""It is a local recipe eaten for centuries"" = ""Dog"") to advice on do's and don't's in various countries (in Scotland, ""Don't ask if it is true that when a chameleon wanders onto a plaid kilt, it will explode""). Some of this is in the form of lists that stretch and strain (e.g., scores of ""More Things You Hate to Hear,"" including ""What pool? What suites? What beach? What reservation? What?""--and so on), but they are supplemented nicely by the many amusing anecdotes (e.g., the time that Brenner, to preserve his celebrity-status privacy, studiously ignored his fellow airplane passenger--who turned out to be Victor Borge). In sum: hit-and-miss humor, with a high batting average.