TALKING TO YOUR CHILD ABOUT GOD

What do you say when your child wants to know who made the sky blue, or why Spot dropped dead in the cabbage patch? Heller (The Children's God; Dear God: Children's Letters to God) offers some sensible answers in this handy guide to the Big Questions asked by little tykes. According to Heller, parents must explore their own spirituality before tinkering with their children's; he therefore supplies a 25-point ""Know Yourself Inventory"" with such broad (often unanswerable) queries as ""What do you wish God would change about the world?"" As for the kids, Heller suggests waiting until they turn four or five, and then tickling them with a mix of icky-poo and wonder: ""Ask your child to write a letter to God""; ""Take your child out on a clear summer night and take a look at the stars. Ask your child what is out there."" As the child matures, this romper-room approach deepens into an examination of God's role in science, suffering, war, and sex. For parents who adhere to a formal religion, Heller provides summaries of the major world faiths along with suggested topics for family discussion. One useful chapter probes the complexities of interfaith marriage, warning parents to ""be specific and unequivocally clear about what you believe."" By turns condescending, nagging, syrupy, tough-minded; always encouraging and helpful. The sort of book that would have been unthinkable 50 years ago, but that seems absolutely necessary today.