Gripes, geriatric naughtiness, family-tsuris eruptions, and verbal slug-outs: all these vibrate through the less-than-marble halls of the Golden Age Hotel, owned and managed on a shoestring by Lilly Monteith and second husband Stan--no spring chickens themselves. Lilly and Stan have reluctantly launched the Golden Age on Long Island with a mere $33,000--all that was left of their nest egg after Stan's son Carl (unsavorily connected with Florida's pot traffic) drained away the rest. Lilly, too, has kid troubles: son Allan Goldman in Toronto seems about to drop out of college. Still, a feisty self-starter, Lilly overcomes her assorted handicaps to become Mrs. Fix. it to the home's oldster-residents: widower Dr. Foxe, whose son is a prime ""schmock"" but whose daughter-in-law is a doll; drunken, lusty Fay-gie, ex-bar owner and pal to gangsters--and the mother of two daughters who won't come near her; concentration-camp survivor Benny Longo, a former rabbi with a weakness for women (his chambermaid assault leads to a heart attack); emotionally disturbed Sally, courted by nice Nate; depressed Mr. Marten, who gets help from an art teacher's therapy; and labor organizer Abe Rosen--who sees his grandson Joey, a flaked-out religious/political activist, start a serious riot. Throughout, Stan and Lilly face-off over Carl--who reappears in need of more cash. But it's not until two hoods come around, and Stan walks off with the profits, that Lilly, still loving Stan, sees her way clear to a rewarding hotel future. Noisy with kitchen cutlery and office confessions, sprinkled with brave farewells: a gossipy, sentimental, sitcom view of retirement-home life--all delivered in golden-sunset journalese.