Orientation and Choice

A man reflects on a pivotal personal choice that changed his life.  

In his slender debut memoir, Connecticut attorney Robinson’s main focus is on his sexuality—his evolution from exhibiting gay tendencies as a teenager to marrying a woman. With an economy of words and consistent honesty, the author, now age 65, describes how his struggle to make sense of his physical attraction to boys became an obsession. He writes frankly about his gay yearnings in high school, which confused him yet spurred one person to instruct him that “sex should be between a male and female, not two males.” Still, his early adult life became a time of sexual fantasy and interest in both men and women. While Robinson’s life is indeed unique, his rationalizations concerning why a man with gay tendencies would want to romantically date a woman are confusing and frustratingly insular (bisexuality is not discussed). Among them is the theory that since the number of heterosexual marriages in Hawaii proliferated over same-sex unions from the end of 2016 through 2017, a natural conclusion can be drawn that a gay man would want to “go with the crowd” and wed a woman. For the author, this reasoning also applies to human anatomy, which he feels dictates that male and female sex organs are naturally “designed to fit” together in an attestation that is widely repeated throughout the plainspoken book. He firmly believes that men should “keep their options open” when considering which gender to physically engage with while disavowing gay sexuality as a genetic predisposition. Whether readers agree or not, he writes from the mindset that he should live his life according to what is traditionally and societally expected of him and “to do what I am anatomically designed to do,” including enjoying his marriage to his wife of 15 years. Most controversial, however, is Robinson’s disapproval of the abolishment of gay conversion therapy, which he equates to “banning weight-loss therapy,” as he believes it should be an option for confused youth to consider on their own. His book offers plenty of food for thought for both readers comfortable with their identities and those questioning them.

Provocative and thought-provoking, this account definitely requires an open mind and is sure to inspire spirited debate from both sides of the sexual orientation issue.