An engaging memoir that offers gentle, caring advice about surviving grief and moving forward.
Kahler, in her debut memoir, recounts the pain of her miscarriages and the healing process that finally led her to decide to adopt.
In a preface, the author says that she wrote this book to help readers struggling with infertility or the unexpected loss of a pregnancy. She begins with describing her own story: Kahler was excited at the prospect of being a mother, filled with hopes and dreams for her unborn child. She joyfully shared the news of her first pregnancy with friends and family members, but her joy quickly turned to fear when it became clear that it wasn’t progressing normally. The spontaneous termination of her pregnancy was devastating, and Kahler felt a deep sense of loss on top of her medical concerns. In fact, her grief threatened to overwhelm her and her marriage, but with therapy and the help of a supportive husband, Kahler eventually achieved a new sense of normalcy and discovered the emotional strength to pursue her dream of having a child. After a second miscarriage, pregnancy was no longer an option, so Kahler and her husband turned to adoption instead, which led to a different set of struggles that she recounts with empathy and optimism. Kahler gives readers more than a simple retelling of her own experiences by suggesting steps for coping with grief. She also validates the strong emotional connection a woman may feel for an unborn child; this bond, she acknowledges, isn’t always understood by others and can leave many women feeling alone, unable to express their pain. With the same kind tone, she shares her research into international and domestic adoptions, including the adoption of children with special needs. She emphasizes the importance of working with a reputable agency, noting that the search for a child can leave a couple emotionally and financially vulnerable. Kahler’s book is an excellent look at what to expect from the adoption process, and it includes lists of helpful resources.
An engaging memoir that offers gentle, caring advice about surviving grief and moving forward.Pub Date: May 8, 2013
ISBN: 978-1481986656
Page Count: 212
Publisher: CreateSpace
Review Posted Online: July 22, 2013
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Aug. 15, 2013
Review Program: Kirkus Indie
BOOK REVIEW
A highly readable account of how solid research and personal testing of self-help techniques saved a couple's marriage after...
Self-help advice and personal reflections on avoiding spousal fights while raising children.
Before her daughter was born, bestselling author Dunn (Why Is My Mother Getting a Tattoo?: And Other Questions I Wish I Never Had to Ask, 2009, etc.) enjoyed steady work and a happy marriage. However, once she became a mother, there never seemed to be enough time, sleep, and especially help from her husband. Little irritations became monumental obstacles between them, which led to major battles. Consequently, they turned to expensive couples' therapy to help them regain some peace in life. In a combination of memoir and advice that can be found in most couples' therapy self-help books, Dunn provides an inside look at her own vexing issues and the solutions she and her husband used to prevent them from appearing in divorce court. They struggled with age-old battles fought between men and women—e.g., frequency of sex, who does more housework, who should get up with the child in the middle of the night, why women need to have a clean house, why men need more alone time, and many more. What Dunn learned via therapy, talks with other parents, and research was that there is no perfect solution to the many dynamics that surface once couples become parents. But by using time-tested techniques, she and her husband learned to listen, show empathy, and adjust so that their former status as a happy couple could safely and peacefully morph into a happy family. Readers familiar with Dunn's honest and humorous writing will appreciate the behind-the-scenes look at her own semi-messy family life, and those who need guidance through the rough spots can glean advice while being entertained—all without spending lots of money on couples’ therapy.
A highly readable account of how solid research and personal testing of self-help techniques saved a couple's marriage after the birth of their child.Pub Date: March 21, 2017
ISBN: 978-0-316-26710-6
Page Count: 272
Publisher: Little, Brown
Review Posted Online: Jan. 17, 2017
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Feb. 1, 2017
BOOK REVIEW
BOOK REVIEW
A miscellany of paternal pride (and frustration) darkened by the author’s increasing realizations of his mortality.
Ruminations and reminiscences of an author—now in his 70s—about fatherhood, writing, and death.
O’Brien (July, July, 2002, etc.), who achieved considerable literary fame with both Going After Cacciato (1978) and The Things They Carried (1990), returns with an eclectic assembly of pieces that grow increasingly valedictory as the idea of mortality creeps in. (The title comes from the author’s uncertainty about his ability to assemble these pieces in a single volume.) He begins and ends with a letter: The initial one is to his first son (from 2003); the terminal one, to his two sons, both of whom are now teens (the present). Throughout the book, there are a number of recurring sections: “Home School” (lessons for his sons to accomplish), “The Magic Show” (about his long interest in magic), and “Pride” (about his feelings for his sons’ accomplishments). O’Brien also writes often about his own father. One literary figure emerges as almost a member of the family: Ernest Hemingway. The author loves Hemingway’s work (except when he doesn’t) and often gives his sons some of Papa’s most celebrated stories to read and think and write about. Near the end is a kind of stand-alone essay about Hemingway’s writings about war and death, which O’Brien realizes is Hemingway’s real subject. Other celebrated literary figures pop up in the text, including Elizabeth Bishop, Andrew Marvell, George Orwell, and Flannery O’Connor. Although O’Brien’s strong anti-war feelings are prominent throughout, his principal interest is fatherhood—specifically, at becoming a father later in his life and realizing that he will miss so much of his sons’ lives. He includes touching and amusing stories about his toddler sons, about the sadness he felt when his older son became a teen and began to distance himself, and about his anguish when his sons failed at something.
A miscellany of paternal pride (and frustration) darkened by the author’s increasing realizations of his mortality.Pub Date: Oct. 14, 2019
ISBN: 978-0-618-03970-8
Page Count: 384
Publisher: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt
Review Posted Online: July 27, 2019
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Aug. 15, 2019
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