HOW TO FALL OUT OF LOVE by Debora with Robert Judd Phillips


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This is a self-brainwashing manual that's designed to help you ""unlearn"" all those nasty, hurtful emotions of love once they become ""inappropriate"" (translation: unrequited). The trick is to attack the problem systematically, using the anxiety-reduction techniques pioneered by behavior therapist Joseph Wolpe. Begin with ""thought-stopping""--every time you get a mental flash of your love object, combat the longing with a scream of ""STOP!"" at the top of your lungs, and proceed to a sure-fire list of pleasurable substitute scenes. Next is ""silent ridicule""--which ""knocks the pedestal out from under their feet"" by teaching you to picture your loved on in an ""absurd or comic context""--enter the man with an overturned bowl of oatmeal on his head. But after you have finished slicing your beloved down to size, the trick is to build yourself up to love again via ""positive image building"" (including assertiveness training); ""graduated calming"" (combats a whole scale of jealousies, from 1 to 100, through deep relaxation procedures); ""intimacy"" (established only after suffering the indignity of such opening lines as ""That's a cute dog you're walking. Did you knit him yourself?""); and ""sensual awareness training."" For truly recalcitrant cases of physical attraction, the good doctor recommends ""repulsion""--picturing the object of your lust as covered in the foulest substances your mind can conjure up. We've been in these pits before (Letting Go, p. 683).

Pub Date: Oct. 9th, 1978
Publisher: Houghton Mifflin