AN OLD MAN'S DARLING

Shepherd offers a memoir of an affair between an older man and a younger woman that led to marriage.

In 1968, after dropping out of the University of Arizona, the single, 21-year-old author moved Tucson to Queens, New York, looking for a fresh start. She took a job as a library assistant at a consulting firm, where she met Bill Shepherd, a 55-year-old human resources consultant and ordained Episcopal priest. Bill was unhappy in his marriage, and he and the author soon began a secret affair. To Shepherd’s surprise, she quickly developed deep feelings for Bill, and the two declared their love for each other and their desire to start a life together. Through flashbacks spurred by a discovery of their old love letters, the author relates their story’s ups and downs, including Bill’s struggle to divorce his wife, their navigation of societal and familial disapproval, their brief long-distance relationship upon Shepherd’s return to the University of Arizona, the birth of their two children, and their eventual marriage. The author incorporates the found missives and new messages, addressed directly to Bill, as she grapples with his motivations and those of her younger self. Throughout, the prose is unflinchingly honest, effectively exploring the roles of body image and self-esteem, religion, and generational differences, among other themes: “looking back, it all swirls together: objectification/sexual attraction/passion/obsession/possession/desire/intimacy/love—like the tendrils of sweet peas. If you try to separate them, you are in danger of killing the flower.” Overall, it’s a thoughtful and multidimensional examination of love, power, and self that doesn’t shy away from asking difficult questions.

A nuanced and open account of an unconventional relationship.