Ephron has expanded a popular New York Times Magazine article--how to eat an Oreo cookie--into this slightly dizzy album of childhood taunts. It hasn't the razored precision of a Gilda Radner or Lily Tomlin character, but it's vivid enough to return you, momentarily, to those thrilling days of yesteryear. Where else can you find barf, dibs, cooties, major fart alert, and mind your own beeswax all in one place, or seasoned advice like hide your crusts in your pocket and wipe your nose on your sleeve. Also, how to torture your sister (mimic her on the telephone, tell her she's adopted) or rattle your teacher: have seven pizzas sent to her house. Plus phony phone calls, birthday party etiquette, moron jokes, pet care, and PraYers (""And lead us not into Penn Station""). With shaggy drawings by Ed Koren and excerpts slated for New York, Glamour, and Reader's Digest, this greasy kid stuff may just be bound for glory.