SEX, DRUGS & JESUS

In this debut memoir, a young man explores his sexuality and spirals into illicit drug use.

Hubert was born in 1982, and his early life in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, was a continuous struggle with poverty. Still, he was mostly happy, as he grew up with a loving mother and a doting grandmother. In 2000, when he was 17, he joined the U.S. Air Force and underwent basic training in San Antonio. Hubert, though sexually inexperienced, already knew he was gay, and so did a surprising number of his fellow recruits; the experience, he says, initially seemed like a "gay paradise." The internet afforded him the chance to have casual sex with other men, and he did so with reckless abandon. This led to his first experience with a sexually transmitted disease, which the author graphically describes in perhaps the book’s most difficult scene to read. After he left the military, Hubert later found solace in volunteer work for a Christian church. He also loved partying and wearing extravagant attire, and although he’d steered clear of drugs while in the Air Force, he soon dabbled in cocaine and methamphetamines and racked up dangerous debts. Bill collectors were trying to track him down, and a terrifying drug dealer threatened him with violence. Hubert eventually lost hope when he learned that he was HIV positive, as he considered the diagnosis a “death sentence.” He knew that he wanted to realize his dream of running his own business. But before that, he’d have to fight to stay alive, and that meant getting himself far away from drugs—both as an abuser and as a dealer.

Given the subject matter, readers will likely anticipate a somber autobiography in these pages, and indeed, it frequently is. However, the author’s consistent optimism helps to alleviate the moments of grimness. He recounts numerous explicit sexual encounters shared between willing participants who enjoyed one another. Hubert also tells of how his connection to spirituality—specifically, to God and Jesus—though often tested, served him well in his life. Over the course of this book, Hubert’s straightforward prose is occasionally sparse in style, with only nominal details about his surroundings. Still, he clearly and memorably portrays the events of his life throughout. A gig at a call center during his time in Houston, for example, took place in a rowdy “maze of cubicles,” with a stunning view of the city spoiled by the loathsome manager yelling “Get to work!” His descent into cocaine and meth abuse is suitably unnerving; he had tense encounters with cops and often seemed alarmingly oblivious to the perpetual danger surrounding him—even when one person was intent on killing him. Hubert wraps up his life story in the present day, about a decade after the bulk of the events herein. Rather oddly, though, he ends the memoir with a post-epilogue in which he tells of an apparent encounter with witchcraft as a teenager.

A bleak but often engrossing real-life story of an eventful and sometimes-dangerous life.