For those who feel football players are getting smarter, here's boulder-shouldered San Diego quarterback Alex Mackin, who, a few Super Bowls back, was offered a point-shaving deal by gambler Royce Dion. Mackin didn't take the proposition seriously, but, once in the game, he decided it would be a lark to try to shave points as requested--just to see if he could do it, you understand. Next thing you know some guy is handing him fifty grand, making him vulnerable to another approach come this year's Super Bowl, and he hastily considers retiring. So resourceful Dion now kidnaps Mackin, hoping to keep him on ice until game time. Enter peppy Lindsie Hollis, gal reporter for Monday magazine, who tracks Mackin into the desert and practically carries the big boob all the way back to San Diego, a task made no easier when the ""quintessential"" quarterback tries to slake his thirst in the Gulf of Mexico. To match the sophistication of plot, Shah has assembled an all-star team of character cliches at every position: Lindsie has one of those wintry worry-wart editors; Dion's a drably drawn Vegas type; and quarterback Mackin complements the 63 I.Q. with ""ingenuous"" green eyes. As for Lindsie herself--well, she's exactly the gal asst. ed. every Helen-Gurley-Brownette wants to be, zipping around the country armed with fifty credit cards, writing great stuff, and heavy into lib. ""Any stranger who calls me honey,"" she says, ""automatically loses points."" Yea verily, honey. At the final gun we're left with a taffy-pull crafted--wittingly, one can only hope--for the lower percentiles of the Cosmo set.