A chiropractor and life coach offers tips and insights into moving beyond low self-esteem and a “people pleasing” mindset in this debut self-empowerment guide.
For MacDonald, a friend’s courageous response to a diagnosis of Lou Gehrig’s disease made him “start to look at myself in a new light....There were other things I wanted to do, but the underdog curse had kept me from doing them. ‘What if I fail?’ ” The author outlines how to recognize what he calls the “saboteurs,” such as being a people pleaser, which he says usually lead to repressed resentment and stress, with negative consequences for one’s health; using “softeners,” or reasons not to take action; and not developing enough “power bonds,” or relationships with people who will support one’s desire for change. He discusses how to transition from “defense to growth,” including how to strive for “dynamic communication” that considers the needs and values of others and expresses and supports one’s own. He also encourages taking time to set goals and to “shorten the refractory period” of retreating after failures. Overall, MacDonald has crafted a persuasive wake-up call by showing how you can be your own worst enemy when trying to achieve personal growth. Specifically, his stories of his own mishaps as a people pleaser—such as when he agreed to dance with a girl he wasn’t interested in because he was too shy to approach the girl he truly desired—are relatable, illuminating examples of the damaging potential of such behavior. Although this self-help book doesn’t break new ground (MacDonald acknowledges, as well as recaps, some of Tony Robbins’ concepts, for example), it’s nevertheless an effective, thought-provoking manifesto.
Sincere, solid advice for rising above self-limiting behaviors.