QUICKIES TOO

Marquess shares further memories from his life in this second collection of humorous micro-essays.

Marquess—Cardinals fan, proud son of St. Louis, and baseball art photographer—loves a funny story. Perhaps he gets it from his grandfather, an inventor and entrepreneur who lived to be 101 and considered himself invincible. (After a three-week coma caused by nearly being crushed to death in an accident, the old man woke up and deadpanned to the author, “It’s a damn good thing it happened to me, it would have killed anyone else.”) This volume collects funny stories and remembrances from across Marquess’ long life—he’s now an octogenarian himself—from his altar boy days in 1950s St. Louis to his more recent adventures on the baseball memorabilia circuit. His opening essay is about how he acquired the exclusive rights to photograph Mark McGwire’s record-setting 70th home run baseball, and how, when the author tried to sell signed prints at a Cardinals convention, he learned that not all fans were interested in the photographer’s autograph. He writes about the time when, as a teenager, he and his friends reupholstered the seats in a buddy’s car…in leopard print. The book has plenty of self-deprecating moments as well, as when Marquess makes a fool of himself by bragging about how manageable a purportedly spicy bowl of chili is, only to then burn his mouth by biting into the habanero pepper meant as a garnish: “My entire life started flashing before me, but I was way too macho to readily admit that death was rapidly approaching. So I continued momentarily before it became apparent that if I didn’t have a fire extinguisher immediately, my life was over.” Without any particular organizing principle, the author presents these 40 “quickies,” none more than a few pages, for readers’ consumption with the stated hope that they will cause a smile.

Marquess writes like a practiced oral storyteller. He’s at his best when evoking the wonder of his boyhood, as here, where he writes about the pond at the local seminary: “At the edge of this forest was a large pond surrounded with strange and exotic elephant ear plants, and those cat of nine tails things…Also, with patience and intense searching, baby toads and little squirmy garter snakes could be found.” Some of the essays successfully capture a distant period of American life; “Man Mountain Oscar,” for example, details how, when St. Louis banned ashpits in 1950, an industry of ashpit removal popped up overnight (much to the chagrin of the author, who relished his job of cleaning the family’s repository). Some of the humor is dated, both in terms of style and content, and not all of it is entirely original. (The final chapter simply reproduces nine of Marquess’ favorite street jokes.) Several of the essays aren’t really humor pieces at all, but simply lighthearted descriptions of events from the author’s past. Readers of Marquess’ same generation will probably get the most enjoyment from this blend of comic observations and midcentury nostalgia.

A buoyant if not always hilarious collection of anecdotes from a seasoned yarn-spinner.