GONE WITH A WANG! by Donna Comeaux Zide


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Bridget Golden, daughter of 1890s-New Mexico merchant Levi and Irish-Catholic mother Bridey, is supposed to marry Levi's headclerk Jacob--but she's hot for laundryman's son Wah Ta Wang, who's sexually well-endowed: ""Just like one of the kosher salami rolls Papa orders from New York. . . !"" So Wang and Bridget and kid-brother Aaron run away to San Francisco, pursued by Pinkerton man Felix Falumbo--in a balloon owned by millionaire Shadrack Shackup (of the Shackup Inns hotel chain) and equipped with sex-kitten Mimi: ""Sateesfied--'ow could I be sateesfied when you poke me in the ass weeth zat beeg monster?"" The orgy-balloon gets stranded on Heaven Island, however (copulation with coconuts ensues), and meanwhile Wang and Bridget have set up shop in S.F.; but Wang plays around at the Beaver Club with ""fuzzy-ass"" Lisa, so Bridget is happy to be abducted by a black outlaw called the Soul Ranger (""sheath your long, straight arrow in my waiting quiver!""). And soon Soul, Bridget, and Aaron are an outlaw team--members of F.U.G. (""Federation of United Gunslingers"")--though there's more foreplay than gunplay here: Bridget slides into a mÉnage à trois with Soul and buddy Dutch; Aaron, after a false start with transvestites at The Gay Caballero, loses his virginity to ""Super Hooker"" Mary Elisabeth (""this girl really did deserve the coveted Golden Snatch award!""); Indian sidekick Pinto goes at it with Felicity the sheep. Finally Bridget comes home with triplets, Aaron weds Super Hooker, and Soul reveals his Jewish ancestry to win Bridget's hand. Cartoon dialects, offensive stereotypes, silly names, witless anachronisms--a vulgar, sophomoric (as in high-school sophomore), and tiresome attempt at the sort of comedy that only a Mel Brooks can Oust barely) get away with.

Pub Date: Sept. 22nd, 1980
Publisher: Delacorte