An honest, heartbreaking, and ultimately uplifting account of parenting a child with severe emotional difficulties.

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MAD RANDOM

CLAIMING LIFE OUT OF CHAOS

In this memoir, a mother shares her struggles raising her emotionally disabled son.

At 41, after a series of failed pregnancies, Miller and her husband of 19 years brought Jack into their lives via private adoption. Jack was a physically beautiful baby, but it soon became apparent that he had severe emotional difficulties. Jack became a “changeling” before Miller’s eyes; she writes that he “played with a slow, restless energy, never glancing in my direction, his back rigid and unwelcoming.” She began a fruitless, yearslong journey through doctors, consultants, and drug trials that yielded no specific diagnosis or cure. Although Miller attempted home schooling, Jack was largely handled, albeit barely and sometimes badly, by the local school system. He was put into separate classes—what he termed the “dummy dump”—and by middle school, administrators claimed that they could no longer control him after he supposedly threatened to jump out of a closed second-story window. Miller’s lawyer husband discovered that his son acted violently toward Miller, and Jack was eventually sent to a residential school for boys with emotional disabilities, where he stayed for three years. He returned home somewhat more controlled but was then a troubled teenager with new challenges; he was soon expelled from high school. Miller began to realize that she had to accept Jack as he was, not as she wanted him to be, and support his own pace and progress toward adulthood. Miller has written an affecting, candid account about raising an enigmatically disabled child. She offers critical commentary on the flaws of various medical and educational systems that she navigated yet also acknowledges how she had to modify her own behavior and expectations. She adds a healthy dose of humor, including Jack’s rather pithy perceptions and observations. While certainly not a comprehensive resource guide, Miller’s memoir offers insight and support to parents in similar situations.

An honest, heartbreaking, and ultimately uplifting account of parenting a child with severe emotional difficulties.

Pub Date: Aug. 25, 2014

ISBN: 978-1605712253

Page Count: 218

Publisher: Northshire Bookstore

Review Posted Online: Jan. 26, 2015

Kirkus Reviews Issue: March 1, 2015

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DEAR MR. HENSHAW

Possibly inspired by the letters Cleary has received as a children's author, this begins with second-grader Leigh Botts' misspelled fan letter to Mr. Henshaw, whose fictitious book itself derives from the old take-off title Forty Ways W. Amuse a Dog. Soon Leigh is in sixth grade and bombarding his still-favorite author with a list of questions to be answered and returned by "next Friday," the day his author report is due. Leigh is disgruntled when Mr. Henshaw's answer comes late, and accompanied by a set of questions for Leigh to answer. He threatens not to, but as "Mom keeps nagging me about your dumb old questions" he finally gets the job done—and through his answers Mr. Henshaw and readers learn that Leigh considers himself "the mediumest boy in school," that his parents have split up, and that he dreams of his truck-driver dad driving him to school "hauling a forty-foot reefer, which would make his outfit add up to eighteen wheels altogether. . . . I guess I wouldn't seem so medium then." Soon Mr. Henshaw recommends keeping a diary (at least partly to get Leigh off his own back) and so the real letters to Mr. Henshaw taper off, with "pretend," unmailed letters (the diary) taking over. . . until Leigh can write "I don't have to pretend to write to Mr. Henshaw anymore. I have learned to say what I think on a piece of paper." Meanwhile Mr. Henshaw offers writing tips, and Leigh, struggling with a story for a school contest, concludes "I think you're right. Maybe I am not ready to write a story." Instead he writes a "true story" about a truck haul with his father in Leigh's real past, and this wins praise from "a real live author" Leigh meets through the school program. Mr. Henshaw has also advised that "a character in a story should solve a problem or change in some way," a standard juvenile-fiction dictum which Cleary herself applies modestly by having Leigh solve his disappearing lunch problem with a burglar-alarmed lunch box—and, more seriously, come to recognize and accept that his father can't be counted on. All of this, in Leigh's simple words, is capably and unobtrusively structured as well as valid and realistic. From the writing tips to the divorced-kid blues, however, it tends to substitute prevailing wisdom for the little jolts of recognition that made the Ramona books so rewarding.

Pub Date: Aug. 22, 1983

ISBN: 143511096X

Page Count: 133

Publisher: Morrow/HarperCollins

Review Posted Online: Oct. 16, 2011

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Aug. 1, 1983

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Necessarily swift and adumbrative as well as inclusive, focused, and graceful.

A LITTLE HISTORY OF POETRY

A light-speed tour of (mostly) Western poetry, from the 4,000-year-old Gilgamesh to the work of Australian poet Les Murray, who died in 2019.

In the latest entry in the publisher’s Little Histories series, Carey, an emeritus professor at Oxford whose books include What Good Are the Arts? and The Unexpected Professor: An Oxford Life in Books, offers a quick definition of poetry—“relates to language as music relates to noise. It is language made special”—before diving in to poetry’s vast history. In most chapters, the author deals with only a few writers, but as the narrative progresses, he finds himself forced to deal with far more than a handful. In his chapter on 20th-century political poets, for example, he talks about 14 writers in seven pages. Carey displays a determination to inform us about who the best poets were—and what their best poems were. The word “greatest” appears continually; Chaucer was “the greatest medieval English poet,” and Langston Hughes was “the greatest male poet” of the Harlem Renaissance. For readers who need a refresher—or suggestions for the nightstand—Carey provides the best-known names and the most celebrated poems, including Paradise Lost (about which the author has written extensively), “Kubla Khan,” “Ozymandias,” “The Charge of the Light Brigade,” Wordsworth and Coleridge’s Lyrical Ballads, which “changed the course of English poetry.” Carey explains some poetic technique (Hopkins’ “sprung rhythm”) and pauses occasionally to provide autobiographical tidbits—e.g., John Masefield, who wrote the famous “Sea Fever,” “hated the sea.” We learn, as well, about the sexuality of some poets (Auden was bisexual), and, especially later on, Carey discusses the demons that drove some of them, Robert Lowell and Sylvia Plath among them. Refreshingly, he includes many women in the volume—all the way back to Sappho—and has especially kind words for Marianne Moore and Elizabeth Bishop, who share a chapter.

Necessarily swift and adumbrative as well as inclusive, focused, and graceful.

Pub Date: April 21, 2020

ISBN: 978-0-300-23222-6

Page Count: 304

Publisher: Yale Univ.

Review Posted Online: Feb. 9, 2020

Kirkus Reviews Issue: March 1, 2020

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