Lots of kids have been victimized by gratuitous peer teasing, but that doesn't mean they'll identify with dippy fifth-grader Lucy who's been suffering from verbal abuse (""Luce the goose, honk, honk!"") for no reason she can fathom. Brooding in the park on a zero-Valentine February 14th, Lucy takes up with one of juvenile fiction's least engaging crazy old ladies--a self-appointed ""guru"" who offers a ""one-word philosophy"": Ishkabibble. (""I ain't saying it's Lydia Pinkham's Vegetable Compound, but for the victim problem you can't beat it."") When Lucy shows up at school with a moth-eaten pennant inscribed with the magic word, she's instantly unvictimized. The whole class goes Ishkabibble mad, and it takes another exile, artistic Rick, to point out that Ishkabibble doesn't work for important things. As the guru explained, another way of saying Ishkabibble is--who cares.