WHEN GROWNUPS DRIVE YOU CRAZY

A noted parent educator takes up the foibles and limitations of the parents themselves--in the hope of helping children to be good and loving while better understanding themselves and others. LeShan's advice deals primarily with adults (parents and others) who make children angry, frightened, or embarrassed; her range is broad, including parents who keep secrets, lie, or are abusive and/or addicted. As in her earlier books, she respects children's capacity to understand; accordingly, she dares to share stories of her own parenting mistakes and her own sexual abuse by a trusted family doctor. The many anecdotes should help readers differentiate between idiosyncracies and serious problems. Whichever children face, LeShan provides them with alternative ideas for action and words to show how they feel. Surprisingly, there is little reference to outside help; the focus is on becoming a good reader of behavior--for example, by learning to recognize credibility in advertising and transferring that skill to personal relationships. LeShan also addresses some subtler problems--overprotection, immaturity, unpredictable mood changes--that haven't been much dealt with in children's nonfiction. For children with small problems or large, a needed service.