WHEN YOUR CHILD DRIVES YOU CRAZY by Eda LeShan

WHEN YOUR CHILD DRIVES YOU CRAZY

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KIRKUS REVIEW

Not a comprehensive guide to child-rearing, but rather a comforting framework for understanding why children can be so infuriating, and practical advice on what to do in myriad specific situations. LeShan has been helping with the hard questions in child care for years; this time her message is that ""Whenever our children behave in ways that are exactly like the way we ourselves once felt as children, it drives us crazy."" Once parents recognize that this is the ease, she counsels, there are skills to be learned to change the situation. The first is to remember one's own childhood: ""If we can face the pain of our own anxieties, angers, confusions, the sometimes costly bargains we made for love, we will be far less likely to feel anxious when our children behave like children."" The second skill is being able to read behavior, and LeShan goes on to carefully decipher many of the common behaviors--such as whining--which generally drive parents wild. She manages to describe what is probably really going on underneath that behavior (for whining, what the child wants is rarely what he or she is whining about, but rather simply loving attention); how to stop it before the child or parent loses control or anyone is hurt (when 2-year-olds bite, for instance); and what longer term solutions may be necessary. LeShan is, as ever, warm, comforting, and realistic--and she will certainly relieve many parents of common concerns and guilt along the way. For working mothers: ""If we think the women's movement means that we can have everything, we're dead wrong. What it does mean is that we can choose."" Vintage LeShan, then: practical, and with real insights into our children and ourselves.

Pub Date: June 24th, 1985
Publisher: St. Martin's