GRANDPARENTING IN A CHANGING WORLD

Sound advice on grandparenting from psychologist, columnist, and grandmother LeShan (Oh To Be 50 Again!, 1986, etc.). The operative word here is ``changing''—for as LeShan makes clear, grandparents have their work cut out for them in a world marked by social upheavals and a transformation of the traditional family structure. In such a world, grandparents can be rocks of stability, providing unconditional love, security, and moral values. LeShan acknowledges that unfinished business with one's adult children can be a source of conflict, but she notes that the arrival of a grandchild creates an opportunity to heal old hurts. Throughout, her references to her experiences with her own daughter and granddaughter are comforting reminders that even experts make mistakes—and that it's okay to make them. For grandparents who have forgotten what children are like, she provides a very short guide to child development, paying particular attention to the difficult teenage years, when relationships are likely to be strained and large doses of tolerance, patience, and humor are called for. Other areas of potential concern are examined briefly: divorces and remarriages; visitation rights; aging and declining health; even the special problems of grandparents who, for various reasons, are raising their grandchildren. Although LeShan only touches on these issues, she includes referrals to specific organizations, support groups, publications, and other resources. Clearly, she sees grandparenting as an important role that requires a talent for ``laughter and loving and listening.'' Common sense presented with uncommon grace.