RAISING SECURELY ATTACHED KIDS

A child with a secure attachment to at least one caregiver is more likely to be independent, caring, confident, and resilient, asserts the author in the introduction to her new parenting guide, which approaches its topic in a chatty, friendly, and effervescent style. Harwood breaks down basic concepts of attachment and offers empowering tools for caregivers of kids of any age, while acknowledging the challenges of raising neurodivergent children, or kids who have gone through trauma. She also notes the inevitable gaps that a book by a straight white woman will have when approaching the topic of identity oppression. In discussions reinforced by solid data and actionable advice, Harwood proposes a “high structure, high nurture” environment as the best parenting strategy—one in which conflict is an opportunity for discovery, and the emphasis is on cooperation: “When we create a secure connection with our children,” she writes, “it helps them to trust our capacity to help them through the hard stuff.” She illuminates each chapter with relevant stories from her and other parents’ experiences. The book also includes “Nerd Alert” sections, which delve deep into the research and science behind various concepts. These data-rich sections can be easily skipped by those who aren’t interested, but those who are will find engaging explanations of the prefrontal cortex, internal scripts, Edward Tronick’s well-known 1970s “still face” experiment, and more. Harwood’s boisterous prose invigorates lessons in managing conflict, enforcing structure, navigating difficult topics (such as addiction, racism, and abuse), and developing confidence. The type of parenting that this book espouses won’t come naturally to all readers, and it emphasizes that secure attachment isn’t possible without putting in the work to address one’s own attachment traumas, which she calls “ghost hunting”; the more settled and present caregivers are, she points out, the easier it is for kids to find comfort and connection with them.  

An accessible, enthusiastic manual on how to raise resilient, confident kids.