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EMBRACING THE STRANGER

INTERMARRIAGE AND THE FUTURE OF THE AMERICAN JEWISH COMMUNITY

Easily the most eloquent, impactive, and therapeutic treatment ever written about Jewry's sacred bogeyman. McClain (yes, she intermarried, though her husband converted while she was working on this book), a successful YA novelist and educator, writes with panache and sincerity that intermarriage is no big deal—or, at least, that the outmarriers are the symptoms, not the disease. Rabbis and leaders wave faulty stats about the high levels of intermarriage and scapegoat the intermarried—but they only do so because they can't blame the assimilation and acculturation that they themselves espouse, reducing Jewishness to the Holocaust and a vague set of ethical precepts. According to McClain, this focus on the Holocaust only reinforces the negative idea that being Jewish is dangerous. And, continues this deeply committed Reform Jew, it's easy to find gentile partners who share current Judaism's generalized set of values. In fact, many of the liberal gentiles who marry in have more devotion to Jewish rituals and less anti-Jewish emotional baggage than their spouses. McClain notes that with the ritual curtains of separation between the sexes down, familiarity between Jewish boys and girls often breeds contempt. With quotes from works ranging from Portnoy's Complaint to The Heartbreak Kid, McClain examines the Jewish male's dismissal of the demanding JAP. The equal disdain shown by a generation of Jewish women is echoed in interviews with quotes like: ``You're exactly what my mom wants me to marry; therefore I can't go out with you.'' And given the dismal record of Jewish-Jewish households in turning out committed Jews, the author suggests that many children of exogamous marriages are more likely to have a Jewish future. She ends with suggestions on how to improve Jewish institutions and Jewish practice in the home. McClain's warm, wise, funny, and provocative book is must reading for all who work for a Jewish future.

Pub Date: Dec. 6, 1995

ISBN: 0-465-01908-0

Page Count: 288

Publisher: Basic Books

Review Posted Online: May 19, 2010

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Oct. 1, 1995

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BETWEEN THE WORLD AND ME

NOTES ON THE FIRST 150 YEARS IN AMERICA

This moving, potent testament might have been titled “Black Lives Matter.” Or: “An American Tragedy.”

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The powerful story of a father’s past and a son’s future.

Atlantic senior writer Coates (The Beautiful Struggle: A Father, Two Sons, and an Unlikely Road to Manhood, 2008) offers this eloquent memoir as a letter to his teenage son, bearing witness to his own experiences and conveying passionate hopes for his son’s life. “I am wounded,” he writes. “I am marked by old codes, which shielded me in one world and then chained me in the next.” Coates grew up in the tough neighborhood of West Baltimore, beaten into obedience by his father. “I was a capable boy, intelligent and well-liked,” he remembers, “but powerfully afraid.” His life changed dramatically at Howard University, where his father taught and from which several siblings graduated. Howard, he writes, “had always been one of the most critical gathering posts for black people.” He calls it The Mecca, and its faculty and his fellow students expanded his horizons, helping him to understand “that the black world was its own thing, more than a photo-negative of the people who believe they are white.” Coates refers repeatedly to whites’ insistence on their exclusive racial identity; he realizes now “that nothing so essentialist as race” divides people, but rather “the actual injury done by people intent on naming us, intent on believing that what they have named matters more than anything we could ever actually do.” After he married, the author’s world widened again in New York, and later in Paris, where he finally felt extricated from white America’s exploitative, consumerist dreams. He came to understand that “race” does not fully explain “the breach between the world and me,” yet race exerts a crucial force, and young blacks like his son are vulnerable and endangered by “majoritarian bandits.” Coates desperately wants his son to be able to live “apart from fear—even apart from me.”

This moving, potent testament might have been titled “Black Lives Matter.” Or: “An American Tragedy.”

Pub Date: July 8, 2015

ISBN: 978-0-8129-9354-7

Page Count: 176

Publisher: Spiegel & Grau

Review Posted Online: May 5, 2015

Kirkus Reviews Issue: July 1, 2015

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WHEN BREATH BECOMES AIR

A moving meditation on mortality by a gifted writer whose dual perspectives of physician and patient provide a singular...

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A neurosurgeon with a passion for literature tragically finds his perfect subject after his diagnosis of terminal lung cancer.

Writing isn’t brain surgery, but it’s rare when someone adept at the latter is also so accomplished at the former. Searching for meaning and purpose in his life, Kalanithi pursued a doctorate in literature and had felt certain that he wouldn’t enter the field of medicine, in which his father and other members of his family excelled. “But I couldn’t let go of the question,” he writes, after realizing that his goals “didn’t quite fit in an English department.” “Where did biology, morality, literature and philosophy intersect?” So he decided to set aside his doctoral dissertation and belatedly prepare for medical school, which “would allow me a chance to find answers that are not in books, to find a different sort of sublime, to forge relationships with the suffering, and to keep following the question of what makes human life meaningful, even in the face of death and decay.” The author’s empathy undoubtedly made him an exceptional doctor, and the precision of his prose—as well as the moral purpose underscoring it—suggests that he could have written a good book on any subject he chose. Part of what makes this book so essential is the fact that it was written under a death sentence following the diagnosis that upended his life, just as he was preparing to end his residency and attract offers at the top of his profession. Kalanithi learned he might have 10 years to live or perhaps five. Should he return to neurosurgery (he could and did), or should he write (he also did)? Should he and his wife have a baby? They did, eight months before he died, which was less than two years after the original diagnosis. “The fact of death is unsettling,” he understates. “Yet there is no other way to live.”

A moving meditation on mortality by a gifted writer whose dual perspectives of physician and patient provide a singular clarity.

Pub Date: Jan. 19, 2016

ISBN: 978-0-8129-8840-6

Page Count: 248

Publisher: Random House

Review Posted Online: Sept. 29, 2015

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Oct. 15, 2015

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