HOLD THEM VERY CLOSE, THEN LET THEM GO: How To Be an Authentic Parent

Dr. Robertiello's introductory chapter, ""The 'Spock' Children,"" uses that provocative ideological tag to describe those young adults supposedly victims of a ""permissive"" upbringing--who are warm and nice but can't earn a ""decent living."" Those who fail to see what's ""permissive"" about Baby and Child Care, and who suspect that this Agnew-style attack was directed not at a system of child rearing but at Dr. Spock's politics--will be outraged. However, conservatives who might initially cheer will also be dismayed later on. Dr. Robertiello comes out solidly for such practices as masturbation ("" . . . should be openly encouraged""); nudity among siblings (""almost impossible to avoid and is not harmful""); and equal treatment for the sexes ("" . . . the boys [should be] as involved in buying groceries, cooking, washing dishes, setting the table, as the girls are""). The book takes up common problems of child care, health and discipline from birth through adolescence, with continuing reminders that one cannot change past parental bad habits, even if in many cases you can start afresh. The main thrust of the book is on recognizing your own values and needs as a parent and, by insisting on these, offering your child order and security as well as discipline; and on letting go when the time is ripe. Worthy points--although more or less familiar and presented in a confusing and discursive fashion.