DATING DISABILITY

Goodson discusses navigating dating with a disability.

When the author was 8 years old, she developed bleeding in her brain stem that required surgery. Though the surgery was successful, she was left partially paralyzed on her left side; she had to re-learn how to walk and talk with therapy and carried a lack of self-confidence with her into adulthood. As Goodson entered her 30s, she was eager for love but still hadn’t found the serious romantic relationship she wanted. With the help of life coaches and friends, she realized that her disability wasn’t the thing holding her back—it was her mindset. After years of frustration, the author began working with Londin Angel Winters, an intimacy coach, who helped her to stop judging herself for her disability and lack of sexual experience (“I was judgmental of my history because I thought it was wrong. I thought it wasn’t how I was supposed to be doing life”) and start celebrating her differences. In this book, Goodson shares the insights she has gleaned and frames them for all readers, both disabled and not, who believe that certain parts of their identity are “dating deal-breakers.” In the last section of the book, the author summarizes the principal takeaways from her experience for readers to use on their own journeys. The tone of this book is empathetic and warm; like a good therapist, Goodson instantly puts the reader at ease. As the author shares the lessons she’s learned, they register as authentic because she doesn’t describe them as cure-all solutions that fix everything overnight. (She did not instantly gain a boyfriend, but she did increase her confidence in how she presented herself to the world, which was the real goal.) Often, it feels like Goodson’s stories could be expanded upon to yield deeper insights—for example, she describes the first and one of the last sessions with Londin but not much of their work in between. Still, the overall message is bright and encouraging.

A cheerful chronicle of bravery and self-compassion that encourages all readers looking for love.