COMMUTE

One day’s commute offers time for the author to reflect on sexual predators, alcoholism, and the experiences she understands better now than she did at the time.

New York City–based writer and illustrator Williams (co-author: The Big Activity Book for Anxious People, 2019, etc.) presents a graphic memoir that female readers will find galvanizing and male readers should find illuminating. She explains early on that her reading on the commuter train is restricted to female authors: “I don’t read books by men because I feel sufficiently well-versed in the human male experience from my education.” The lessons were hard earned, and some were slowly learned, since the author’s perspective as a sober mother in recovery is very different than it was when she was experiencing sexual encounters as a blackout alcoholic. “Blackouts,” she writes, “are euphoric, quiet, twilight birth....It’s absolute, perfect freedom. So bring strangers home, because in this sacred darkness, intimacy is not a threat, it’s a compulsion. The dark has you covered.” Williams long felt some shame of complicity in what she now recognizes as outright rape, and she sees clarity in even murkier situations: “The yes or no of consent is not what separates mutual desire from predation,” she writes. “The game is rigged; all the power is concentrated on the other side. We are groomed for compliance.” Most pages are a single panel and self-contained, a series of reflections and impressions intercut with memories, as the woman on the page feels outnumbered by the men who sit too close to her, stare at her, or intrude upon her. Within her caricatures, she wonders which might be rapists and which might be rescuers. Over the course of the day, she reflects on her recovery, how the strong support of other women helped awaken her to a new life, and how their encouragement spawned this graphic, candid, courageous memoir.

A catharsis for the author that fits perfectly within a pivotal period for society and culture at large.