HOW TO TALK AT GIN by Ernie Kovacs


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Culbertson and Goren won't have to go back to hustling on riverboats as a result of this work. Indeed, they have nothing at all to fear from Mr. Kovacs who writes nothing at all on the game of rummy. ""Dialogues and attitudes to be used when playing"" -- is the satirist's own description of his coverage. About the way in which to indicate to one's partner that one has an extremely auspicious assortment of cards, there is a whole section. ""Lascivious winks"" accompanied by ""the tongue flopping up and down while hanging out of one side of the mouth"" is a technique, according to Mr. Kovacs, absolutely passe. Then there is a list of expressions to be used upon receipt of a perfectly horrendous hand. e.g. ""This ain't a hand it's a foot"", ""You gin and I'll punch you in the mouth"", possibly ""This hand looks like a bunch of keys"". He discusses the various reactions to discards. One particularly obnoxious type is the idiot student who is compelled to personalize each card as it falls to the table. He says ""Ah, our Lady of the Diamonds"", ""Dencey dencey, eh?"" or ""Le quatro...le quatro de coeur...interesting!"" Covered also are ""Quitting the Game and Allbis"", ""The Art of Phoning the Wife"", ""How to Declare "" (there is an alternative to the puerile, What's the name of the game? GIN) and ""Cheating"" Mr. writing is about as contained as the Nairobi Trio in a race riot, but a disciplined Ernie Kovacs wouldn't be any Ernie Kovacs at all. He was an excruciatingly funny guy.

Publisher: Doubleday