IF I KNEW THEN WHAT I KNOW NOW. . .SO WHAT?

Me? Writing a book? Maybe next I'll model French bikinis. Who knows? I'm as surprised as anyone else."" You; too, will be surprised that Getty--a.k.a. Sophie Petrillo, the 80-year-old mom on NBC's hit sit-com The Golden Girls--has written a book, especially after slipping through this featherweight amalgam of sappy reminiscence, show-biz gossip, bad borsht-belt humor, and home(mis) spun advice. Getty on getting old: ""You know you're getting old when. . .you eat a caramel and lose a filling."" Getty on romance: ""Finding someone you like is not easy. . . The best bet, I think, is to follow your instincts."" Getty on being Jewish: ""You know when you're Jewish when . . . most of your furniture is covered with plastic."" This year, Getty won an Emmy for her sparkling portrayal of Sophia; but as for her writing. . .please, bring on the bikinis.