MONDAY

A supremely unlucky kid’s terrible, horrible, no good, very bad first day at a new school.

Only a bold or foolish narrator would start a book by calling out the upcoming story beats like Babe Ruth predicting a home run. But Justin Chase does just that, warning readers of the mortification to come. Now that his mom has married Vlad, his new stepdad, both of whom work the night shift, he’ll be living with his dad during the week and spending weekends with his mom—and that means attending a new school. His ill-fitting clothing, the embarrassing car his plumber father drives (“a giant TOILET on wheels”), and the fact that he shares his name with a famous singer set him up for bullying from the get-go. Neighbor and classmate Mia is a rare social lifeline throughout Justin’s trials, which include two scatological incidents so gross that the book cuts away to images of cute animals. Cosgrove’s humorous, cartoonish illustrations appear on nearly every page. The text frequently employs large, bold, and capitalized words, suggesting an emphatic reading whether out loud or in one’s head. These visual elements help exaggerate the many outlandish incidents that occur. Readers won’t be able to look away while wondering how much worse this day can get. Justin and most of the cast have skin the white of the page.

A worst day to remember among the pantheon of Wimpy Kids and Dorks.