POEMS FOR YOUR PANDEMIC

The indignities of life under lockdown are chuckled over in this whimsical poetry collection.

Alexander presents 20 brief poems that he wrote in 2020, surveying the Covid-19 pandemic from its onset through the arrival of vaccines. Subjects include the great toilet-paper shortage (“It’s not a joke, this is not some hype, / What will we do” when it’s “soon time to wipe?”); the trauma of losing a mask (“It fit just right—and never felt clunky / After 5 months, I admit it did smell funky!”); and Alexander’s wife’s stepping up for barber duty (“So every six weeks while I sat naked in a chair, / She clipped and she buzzed working hard on my hair”). The poet also addresses the ennui of being cooped up at home (“Netflix and Apple, Peacock, Acorn, and Prime, / Pandemic streaming can waste all of your time!”) and the obesity crisis brought on by enforced sloth and boredom eating (“We’ve tripled our intake of things like ice cream, / And crave nothing but comfort foods—so it would seem, / So with nothing to do, and nowhere to go, / Our American fat has started to grow!”). Alexander ably captures much of the strangeness of the Covid-19 era and some of the pathos as well, as in his portrait of an older couple isolated from loved ones by Christmastime travel restrictions. (“No grandkids, no children, and no family? / Why are we killing ourselves trimming a tree?”) Unfortunately, his commentary on Covid-19 policy issues sometimes misses the mark: “Just get the shot in your community, / No more Covid—they have herd immunity!” But vaccines don’t confer herd immunity because their protection against transmission wanes. And he praises “This Great Guy Fauci” because “he gives straight advice for every task, / And would never be seen without wearing a mask”—even though Anthony Fauci frequently spoke on television without one and initially advised the public not to wear masks before reversing himself. Alexander’s verse features haphazard, unmetrical rhythms and simplistic rhymes that sometimes feel forced. Poems like “We Were Scared Shitless of Covid-19” make the book unsuitable for kids, but the style is so rudimentary that it may not appeal to many adults. Still, the cartoon illustrations by Scott are colorful and eye-grabbing.

An amusing medley of classic Covid-19 experiences that’s hampered by uneven versifying.