A comprehensive account of the salivary ruses of one of the most notorious outlaw hurlers (formerly with the Giants and now at Cleveland) -- this will be read avidly by major league umpires who have been trying for years to find out how Perry manages to get away with doctoring the ball and throwing all those illegal pitches. The rags-to-riches bio parallels somewhat his spitball-to-greaseball conversion in '68. The ball, now loaded with lubricants such as vaseline and K-Y jelly, does about the same tricks on its way to the plate -- the added substances lessen the friction and reduce the spin -- behaving in the fashion of a super-sinker. For those less curious about the know-how angle and the specifics of slippery elm or sea moss, there's homier stuff on his boyhood in Farm Life, North Carolina, a little community of tenant farmers. Read it and weep, ump, 'cause the man's got something on the ball.