POND SCUM AND VULTURES: American Sportswriters Talk About Their Glamorous Profession

Here, first-time book author Wojciechowski strings together dozens of anecdotes from fellow sportswriters in a failed attempt at a humorous take on their so-called ""glamorous"" profession. Loosely connected and as thuddingly presented as a bad stand-up comedy routine, these anecdotes cast sportswriters as ""the literary equivalent of jock itch."" No one, says Wojciechowski, sets out to become a sportswriter: ""One day you want to write the Great American Novel; the next day you find yourself asking a toothless offensive lineman about his groin pull."" Each sketch, long or short, works up to a punchline. The author recounts Shelby Strothers's (Detroit News) travails when his wife mistakenly left the 1987 NBA finals with the wrong suitcase: ""That left Strothers with a cute wraparound sun dress,"" and, ""By the way, the Strotherses no longer own matching luggage."" Wojciechowski finds the same humor in Baltimore Orioles manager Earl Weaver mistaking a writer for a parking-lot attendant, and in NFL quarterback Jim McMahon blowing his nose on T.J. Simers of the San Diego Union. One chapter, ""Press Box Bimbos,"" at least offers some insight and examples of the difficulties encountered by female sportswriters. The locker-room confrontations reveal as much about some reporters' mettle as they do about some players' and coaches' class--or lack of class. The book ends with do's and don't's such as ""Always examine your disability coverage before accepting assignments involving boxers""; ""Always be aware of local shower customs""; ""Never anger a pro wrestler."" Frivolous.