INSIDE THE NATIONAL ENQUIRER. . . Confessions of an Undercover Reporter

SKYDIVER EATEN ALIVE BY BIRDS. . . NATIONAL ENQUIRER ONCE KEPT AFLOAT BY MAFIA. . . BACKSTABBING UNDERCOVER REPORTER BARES SOUL IN BORING BOOK. . . To bring out this book, ex-National Enquirer expose artist George Bernard ""persevered through countless rejections of fear (), including major setbacks from two prominent publishers who offered (but did not sign?) contracts, promoted the book, then suddenly pulled out of the project,"" says his present publisher. ""Why? Were they reached? What story could be so explosive?"" Would that such hoopla were justified! It might seem that a search through the Enquirer's trash bins would turn up some unbeatable muck, but so talentless is Bernard that his every page reads like a warmed over pizza heel. Gushy promises made early on, and remade, come out bodiless on delivery. Even his digging into publisher Gene (""the titan of tabloids"") Pope's background lacks acid or zip. Here are juiceless tidbits on Elvis, Jackie O., the Kennedys, Judy, Angie, and other gossip celebs. Read 'em and bloat.