The National Standard isn't about to raise the country's morale, but should give it some corpulent belly laughs. This is the tale of two American babes hunting in European woods. D. C. Widdemore and Ivan Storch, fresh from college and 4F draft classifications (obtained in a hilarious induction scene) are off to seek their fortune, a la U.S.A. Widdemore pursues Sidney Finch-Bradish, a lovely young heiress from a modern dance, no romance college. Ivan opts for a political career and eventually secures a high position after promising Spain its fair share of blue movies. There's paregoric tippling in France, an affair with the extraordinary Madame d'Allegrel, and there's bullfighting (or rather shooting) in Pamplona. In the meantime they are followed by letters from old school chum Causley, now a Corporal trapped in the basement of the Pentagon and working on the ultimate weapon which can be hidden in basketballs. And there are also missiles from Widdemore's parents, the Schlemovitzes, who have retired to the Catskills on the insurance money from their candy store's fire. It's inventively satiric, the type of humor The Graduate should dig.