GOLDILOCKS AND THE THREE KNOCKS

Who’s ready for a prequel?

Just as readers are beginning a traditional retelling of “Goldilocks and the Three Bears,” a precocious, light-skinned, golden-locked child interrupts to clear up some facts. Did she eat the porridge? Yes. Did she break a chair? Also yes. Did she nap? OK, that’s a yes, too, but here’s the thing: The story started long before all that—it started when the bears came to visit Goldilocks. Goldilocks had just moved into her new home in the forest when the bears came to welcome her—with a pie! On this visit, Goldilocks’ chair was accidentally broken, and when Goldilocks went out to fetch some tools to fix it, the bears decided it was time to hibernate. Rude. After a seasonal sleep, the bears left and invited Goldilocks to visit them…and the rest is history. The story attempts to capture the sarcasm and humor of Jon Scieszka’s The True Story of the 3 Little Pigs (1989), illustrated by Lane Smith, or Scieszka’s The Frog Prince, Continued (1991), illustrated by Steve Johnson, but it never seems to reach the right level of snark. Though it’s a good premise, Goldilocks is a little too earnest, a little too passive, and the final joke of the bears inviting her over is a little too expected. The digital illustrations try to capture some of the zaniness, but the fairy-tale magic just isn’t there. (This book was reviewed digitally.)

It’s not too hot; it’s not too cold—it’s just mediocre.