LOVING MEN FOR ALL THE RIGHT REASONS by

LOVING MEN FOR ALL THE RIGHT REASONS

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KIRKUS REVIEW

A more appropriate title would be ""loving men for all the wrong reasons"": the book's entire focus is on women's destructive or neurotic patterns in romantic relationships, their causes, how to recognize them, and the need to acknowledge them (in order to change them around). Twelve case histories span the problem--from Vicki, who seeks abusive partners, to Eileen, who focuses on the unavailable. The authors seek to prove that in each case the woman's conscious desire or wish--usually for something innocuous like a warm, committed relationship--is sabotaged by an underlying need to repeat old, unresolved patterns (usually old ""family business""). Thus, Eileen felt she always competed with her mother for her father's attention, so she sets up situations that require her to compete with other women for the men she wants. Predictably, Vicki heard few kind words from her father, so she seeks the same type of relationship with a man. Other women look for men they can make over into successes; or men who will prove unacceptable (these women don't really want to leave home) or men with an all-consuming competing interest, like work or alcohol. Questions are set forth to help you decide whether the type you always ""go for"" fits any of these patterns. Merely questioning your behavior, the authors believe, provides the necessary ""pressure for change""; but beyond some incitement to self-discovery, this holds little genuine promise.

Pub Date: Feb. 26th, 1981
Publisher: Dial