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Heal Your Relationship

A NEW WAY OF IMPROVING YOUR RELATIONSHIP SKILLS

A compelling and often persuasive exploration of an illuminating self-improvement tool.

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A facilitator of constellation therapy, which uncovers how family history and dynamics affect current relationships, shares insights and examples in this psychology primer.

Why can relationships be unsatisfying or even destructive? According to German psychotherapist Preiss (Family Constellations Revealed, 2012), “We carry destructive loyalties and entanglements of our ancestors with us and remanifest them in our relationships.” In this guide, he explains the philosophy and practice of constellation therapy, in which clients work with a facilitator, like Preiss, to set forth the “constellation” of key influencers in their lives. By setting out this matrix, he says—using chairs, dolls, human representatives, and/or the actual people involved—one can uncover, confront, and choose to move on from forces affecting one’s present. Preiss provides case studies of couples who’ve experienced positive results from this therapy; during the process, they realized that they unwittingly played out messages they absorbed in childhood, such as that women should be submissive or that men are unreliable. Although Preiss recommends using professionals for this work, he also offers self-help aids, including meditation practices to discover, embrace, and heal one’s inner child, as well as a questionnaire to figure out one’s particular family traumas. He offers dramatic testimony about bringing the “blind love” within families to light, particularly when “disruptions” in present-day relationships occur. Preiss’ many case studies can be repetitive, and it’s unclear whether some are actually composites of multiple stories. However, the studies all ring true and underscore the value of this type of therapy. The author occasionally goes too deep into psychological citations, referring to “morphogenetic fields” and “ontic dimension”; he also includes a distracting aside about his time living in a commune. Overall, though, he stays on course to present an engaging, accessible road map to effective therapeutic work.

A compelling and often persuasive exploration of an illuminating self-improvement tool.

Pub Date: Oct. 24, 2015

ISBN: 978-1-5175-4248-1

Page Count: 206

Publisher: CreateSpace

Review Posted Online: April 4, 2016

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THE CULTURE MAP

BREAKING THROUGH THE INVISIBLE BOUNDARIES OF GLOBAL BUSINESS

These are not hard and fast rules, but Meyer delivers important reading for those engaged in international business.

A helpful guide to working effectively with people from other cultures.

“The sad truth is that the vast majority of managers who conduct business internationally have little understanding about how culture is impacting their work,” writes Meyer, a professor at INSEAD, an international business school. Yet they face a wider array of work styles than ever before in dealing with clients, suppliers and colleagues from around the world. When is it best to speak or stay quiet? What is the role of the leader in the room? When working with foreign business people, failing to take cultural differences into account can lead to frustration, misunderstanding or worse. Based on research and her experiences teaching cross-cultural behaviors to executive students, the author examines a handful of key areas. Among others, they include communicating (Anglo-Saxons are explicit; Asians communicate implicitly, requiring listeners to read between the lines), developing a sense of trust (Brazilians do it over long lunches), and decision-making (Germans rely on consensus, Americans on one decider). In each area, the author provides a “culture map scale” that positions behaviors in more than 20 countries along a continuum, allowing readers to anticipate the preferences of individuals from a particular country: Do they like direct or indirect negative feedback? Are they rigid or flexible regarding deadlines? Do they favor verbal or written commitments? And so on. Meyer discusses managers who have faced perplexing situations, such as knowledgeable team members who fail to speak up in meetings or Indians who offer a puzzling half-shake, half-nod of the head. Cultural differences—not personality quirks—are the motivating factors behind many behavioral styles. Depending on our cultures, we understand the world in a particular way, find certain arguments persuasive or lacking merit, and consider some ways of making decisions or measuring time natural and others quite strange.

These are not hard and fast rules, but Meyer delivers important reading for those engaged in international business.

Pub Date: May 27, 2014

ISBN: 978-1-61039-250-1

Page Count: 288

Publisher: PublicAffairs

Review Posted Online: April 15, 2014

Kirkus Reviews Issue: May 1, 2014

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THE 48 LAWS OF POWER

If the authors are serious, this is a silly, distasteful book. If they are not, it’s a brilliant satire.

The authors have created a sort of anti-Book of Virtues in this encyclopedic compendium of the ways and means of power.

Everyone wants power and everyone is in a constant duplicitous game to gain more power at the expense of others, according to Greene, a screenwriter and former editor at Esquire (Elffers, a book packager, designed the volume, with its attractive marginalia). We live today as courtiers once did in royal courts: we must appear civil while attempting to crush all those around us. This power game can be played well or poorly, and in these 48 laws culled from the history and wisdom of the world’s greatest power players are the rules that must be followed to win. These laws boil down to being as ruthless, selfish, manipulative, and deceitful as possible. Each law, however, gets its own chapter: “Conceal Your Intentions,” “Always Say Less Than Necessary,” “Pose as a Friend, Work as a Spy,” and so on. Each chapter is conveniently broken down into sections on what happened to those who transgressed or observed the particular law, the key elements in this law, and ways to defensively reverse this law when it’s used against you. Quotations in the margins amplify the lesson being taught. While compelling in the way an auto accident might be, the book is simply nonsense. Rules often contradict each other. We are told, for instance, to “be conspicuous at all cost,” then told to “behave like others.” More seriously, Greene never really defines “power,” and he merely asserts, rather than offers evidence for, the Hobbesian world of all against all in which he insists we live. The world may be like this at times, but often it isn’t. To ask why this is so would be a far more useful project.

If the authors are serious, this is a silly, distasteful book. If they are not, it’s a brilliant satire.

Pub Date: Sept. 1, 1998

ISBN: 0-670-88146-5

Page Count: 430

Publisher: Viking

Review Posted Online: May 19, 2010

Kirkus Reviews Issue: July 15, 1998

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