When Avery Bell decides to revive his dead grandfather's decaying restaurant-tavern in Dos Robles, California, his rich mama Alicia over in Santa Barbara worries that he may not know what he's gotten himself into. She, you see, knows the secret that old grandpa Salem Trimble took to his death with him. Meanwhile, until we find it out too, we move among lush Maria (the cook's daughter), Ernie the bartender, Billy the handyman (and a talented artist), Penny the waitress, and owner Avery himself--and are dogged at every turn by deadly dialogue: ""'A Scotch, Ernie, and one for you. . . . We could both use it.' 'Been quite a day,' Ernie agreed."" Life among the EggMacMuffins at the Golden Arches is probably more exciting. That secret? Someone was murdered back in the old days, with muddied implications--none of which really has to do with anything. Inept.