OUT OF THE RABBIT HOLE AND INTO LIFE

In Bankfarm’s memoir, he describes his life as a newly divorced banker who entered the world of online dating and was diagnosed with melanoma and successfully survived both ordeals.

When Bankfarm’s children were young adults, he and his wife realized they’d grown apart, and they divorced. He discovered online dating and approached it “like a twenty-five-year-old with a fifty-five-year-old’s budget, a dangerous combination.” The dating site connected him with a woman named Susan, but she was apprehensive after her own divorce and canceled their date. Finally meeting face to face, the two enjoyed being with each other and fell in love. Bankfarm visited the dermatologist about a spot on his hand that ended up being merely a bruise, but that “pimple” on his arm was malignant melanoma. The book explores his struggle with loneliness as much as his struggle with cancer. A man of faith, he consulted God, a psychic and others in an attempt to keep Sue in his life. At times, it’s disturbing to read of his overzealous efforts to woo her; Sue made it clear on several occasions she no longer wanted to see him. About a third of the way in, the author switches abruptly from the modern era to the past and shares his autobiography. Raised by an alcoholic father, he bought a car and left home as soon as possible. He entered college, partied too much and joined the Army Reserves. Afterward, he got a job in finance and advanced in the banking industry before returning to college. Bankfarm is a likable man who worked hard to get where he is today. He’s refreshingly honest about the screw-ups he’s made along the way, and his story is rarely dull. It’s touching to read some of the emotions he shares, at times wondering who will care for him and how his finances will fare. This is simple, straightforward prose from a man grateful to be alive.

A middle-aged, male Bridget Jones survives cancer and seeks his soul mate.