A year or more of meaningful therapy in a self-help manual.

POWERTAKE

GET WHAT YOU WANT WITHOUT HURTING OTHERS

A book of theories and exercises for those wanting to take control of their lives.

Rosenfeld’s handbook for self-improvement consists of seven attributes: internal direction, evaluation of consequences, assertiveness, clear communication, nonsensitivity, nonentitlement and money management. These traits are key to living the life one wants and “doing this in ways that [won’t] hurt others.” As there are many forms of success, such as money, independence, career change, managing stress, retirement and so on, the first task is to decide just what success means for the individual. Once a goal is decided upon, and there are no judgments here about that goal, the strategies promise to deliver personal freedom essential for power to direct one’s life. For example, Rosenfeld has designed a questionnaire to help determine one’s ability to stand up for oneself and a thorough description and discussion of how to further develop assertiveness; it’s followed by many pages of interactive assignments. Additional exercises for developing other specific skills are carefully explained and supplemented with theoretical explanations of causes and effects. Each lesson builds logically on the previous steps to make the connections necessary. This is neither a course in popular psychology nor a course to speed through, but rather a process that is to be taken seriously at a measured pace. Time for reflection and review are essential and rewarding, and the process can be repeated should an adjustment to life direction need to be made. Rosenfeld, a psychologist with 50 years of experience, writes in an encouraging voice, which helps the individual gain the confidence to acquire the self-control necessary for making effective life changes.

A year or more of meaningful therapy in a self-help manual.

Pub Date: May 21, 2010

ISBN: 978-1450218672

Page Count: 376

Publisher: iUniverse

Review Posted Online: Aug. 27, 2012

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A handful of pearls amid a pile of empty oyster shells.

THE COMFORT BOOK

Bestselling author Haig offers a book’s worth of apothegms to serve as guides to issues ranging from disquietude to self-acceptance.

Like many collections of this sort—terse snippets of advice, from the everyday to the cosmic—some parts will hit home with surprising insight, some will feel like old hat, and others will come across as disposable or incomprehensible. Years ago, Haig experienced an extended period of suicidal depression, so he comes at many of these topics—pain, hope, self-worth, contentment—from a hard-won perspective. This makes some of the material worthy of a second look, even when it feels runic or contrary to experience. The author’s words are instigations, hopeful first steps toward illumination. Most chapters are only a few sentences long, the longest running for three pages. Much is left unsaid and left up to readers to dissect. On being lost, Haig recounts an episode with his father when they got turned around in a forest in France. His father said to him, “If we keep going in a straight line we’ll get out of here.” He was correct, a bit of wisdom Haig turned to during his depression when he focused on moving forward: “It is important to remember the bottom of the valley never has the clearest view. And that sometimes all you need to do in order to rise up again is to keep moving forward.” Many aphorisms sound right, if hardly groundbreaking—e.g., a quick route to happiness is making someone else happy; “No is a good word. It keeps you sane. In an age of overload, no is really yes. It is yes to having space you need to live”; “External events are neutral. They only gain positive or negative value the moment they enter our mind.” Haig’s fans may enjoy this one, but others should take a pass.

A handful of pearls amid a pile of empty oyster shells.

Pub Date: July 6, 2021

ISBN: 978-0-14-313666-8

Page Count: 272

Publisher: Penguin Life

Review Posted Online: May 19, 2021

Kirkus Reviews Issue: June 1, 2021

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The Stoics did much better with the much shorter Enchiridion.

THE LAWS OF HUMAN NATURE

A follow-on to the author’s garbled but popular 48 Laws of Power, promising that readers will learn how to win friends and influence people, to say nothing of outfoxing all those “toxic types” out in the world.

Greene (Mastery, 2012, etc.) begins with a big sell, averring that his book “is designed to immerse you in all aspects of human behavior and illuminate its root causes.” To gauge by this fat compendium, human behavior is mostly rotten, a presumption that fits with the author’s neo-Machiavellian program of self-validation and eventual strategic supremacy. The author works to formula: First, state a “law,” such as “confront your dark side” or “know your limits,” the latter of which seems pale compared to the Delphic oracle’s “nothing in excess.” Next, elaborate on that law with what might seem to be as plain as day: “Losing contact with reality, we make irrational decisions. That is why our success often does not last.” One imagines there might be other reasons for the evanescence of glory, but there you go. Finally, spin out a long tutelary yarn, seemingly the longer the better, to shore up the truism—in this case, the cometary rise and fall of one-time Disney CEO Michael Eisner, with the warning, “his fate could easily be yours, albeit most likely on a smaller scale,” which ranks right up there with the fortuneteller’s “I sense that someone you know has died" in orders of probability. It’s enough to inspire a new law: Beware of those who spend too much time telling you what you already know, even when it’s dressed up in fresh-sounding terms. “Continually mix the visceral with the analytic” is the language of a consultant’s report, more important-sounding than “go with your gut but use your head, too.”

The Stoics did much better with the much shorter Enchiridion.

Pub Date: Oct. 23, 2018

ISBN: 978-0-525-42814-5

Page Count: 580

Publisher: Viking

Review Posted Online: July 31, 2018

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Aug. 15, 2018

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